There are many situations that test a persons strength everyday. Most, are small and unnoticeable.
Should I open that bag of chips even though I just ate some chocolate?
Some can be a bit more difficult and more noticeable.
Should I continue watching TV even though I’ve been watching for hours on end? Maybe I should read a book (or write a blog)
Some are extremely rare, and exceedingly difficult.
I currently have no job* and no home, I’ll stay in bed for another 5 hours.
*When the lockdown is lifted, I will be going back to work; however there is no date available for when my gan will be opening*
All the above situations are all true, and have all happened to me. Yes, they have different degrees of strength but the fact that I didn’t open the bag of chips, or that I shut the TV off to write this blog post, or the fact that I got out of bed today are all things I can say proudly.
When I made Aliyah 1.5 years ago (damn time flies) I NEVER thought in my wildest dreams that I would be in a situation like this. Let alone the whole world. We are all in isolation and unsure of what will be.
While children are home with their families making memories they will never forget, I’m faced with the difficultly of having my family thousands of miles away and missing them more now, than ever before.
I’d like to think that I am a resilient person. Those close to me know that things haven’t always been easy for me, or my family since the beginning of my life. Somehow, I’ve always been able to overcome whatever is thrown at me.
The past month has certainly put everything to the test. My strength, my resiliency, my mental health, literally my entire being. I’ve been defeated more times then I can count but still, here I am.
And guess what?
Yesterday, was actually a good day. The first good day I’ve had in a really long time. For that, I am thankful.
It does get better, there is a calm after the storm. It might be a realllllllly long storm but eventually the clouds go away and the sun shines. Now, I say all of this and I know that the potential for tomorrow to be another bad day far exceeds my positivity in thinking that maybe it could be a good day; but I find myself with a glimmer of hope.
Trying to stay positive and upbeat when life kept constantly knocking me down has been really overpowering. I had been giving in.
I pride myself in being an honest person, and this blog series has been an amazing outlet for me. I know a few of my followers, but for the most part there’s complete strangers reading and listening to what I have to say.
Thank you. Thank you to all the people in my life that support me, pray for me, think of me, and love me.
You are the ones that keep me going. You are the ones that make me find my inner strength. Without you, I don’t know where I would be.
Even in the darkest of times, I know I still have you rooting me on. For that, and so much more I am eternally grateful.